Both/And vs Either/Or

I’m sensing a trend. Collectively, we are struggling to understand the concept of both/and. We insist on either/or. Maybe it is because the world is so uncertain and we are all searching for solid ground? Maybe it is because social media makes it so easy to choose sides? Maybe it is because our leadership is pitting us against each other? I’m sure there are many things contributing to this trend but regardless of the cause, the outcome is disturbing.

I have had the both/and vs either/or conversation a lot recently in regards to our police department. A few weeks ago, members of our police force displayed what I and many others feel was an excessive use of force. Of course, the video the public saw was a snapshot in time and it did not present the full picture. That said, I and others believe that nothing really would excuse the level of force taken. To me, this is the truth. But you know what else is the truth? It is true that I admire and respect our police department and I am grateful for the work they do. Do I think the officers made a big mistake on that day? Yes. Do I think they have probably made a lot of other mistakes? Yup. But does this mean that I think all police men and women are evil? Nope.

Police men and woman and the actions they take can be both good and bad. They are not either good or bad.

These days, we are surrounded by issues that are better understood as both/and instead of either/or .

Going back to school in person may well end up being both critically important for social well being and academic development and really impossible.

Masks are both super uncomfortable and totally necessary.

Acknowledging my white privilege is both nerve wracking and unavoidable.

Living in a both/and world is both exhausting and simply where we are right now. The more time we spend fighting this truth, the more tired we will grow. The angrier we will be at each other. And the deeper our divides will become.

So… here’s to embracing and accepting our both/and world. I’m up for the challenge and I hope others will join me.