Languishing

A few weeks ago, a piece by Adam Grant called “There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing” flew around the internet. I didn’t read it till today cause guess what? I’m languishing. Interestingly, as is mentioned in the pice, having a name for this situation, is motivating so here I am- writing for the first time in a long time.

Grant defines languishing this way- “Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being.” It is, at this point in pandemic life, he says, the answer to the question ‘How are you?’ that I have been struggling to find. Of course, I am fine. I am healthy and grateful but when I respond with “I’m good. How are you?’ I sometimes catch myself and think, really? Just yesterday, a friend responded to my ‘How are you?’ question by saying, “I am ok.” Yup. She is languishing too. And I think most of us are.

We are no longer in the flight or fright adrenaline fueled early days of the pandemic. But we also also don’t feel like our free pre-pandemic selves. We are stuck in a weird middle place.

I feel so lucky to be fully vaccinated but like so many other fully vaccinated people, I keep waiting to feel the amazing sense of freedom and safety that I thought would come with my vaccination. Don’t get me wrong- I certainly feel better than I did before I was vaccinated and I am so thankful for the scientists that made our vaccinations possible but where is the deep exhale I was expecting?

Beyond naming our feeling of languishing, Grant also suggests finding a sense of flow- “that elusive state of absorption in a meaningful challenge or a momentary bond, where your sense of time, place and self melts away.”

For me, in the past I found my flow by packing up my things and heading to the library. So this morning, for the first time in over a year, I did just that. I am in a mask so my glasses keep fogging up. I had to check in at the reference desk to pick up a ‘seating pass.’ So things are weird but… I am here.

So here’s to more flow and less languishing in the coming days and as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts!