On my mind lately...

Both/and thinking

Hi All,

I am thinking a lot about the concept of both/and these days. So much so, that I actually just googled a definition.

Here is what I found:

“Both/and is an academic concept which refers to a form of reasoning which resists binary or either/or styles of thinking.^[1][2]

Unlike dualistic styles of reasoning, both/and means that between two options, both can be valid, or that their opposition may present opportunities for dialectical synthesis, rather than a complete rejection of one of the premises in favor of the other.”

Both/and thinking has really been front of mind since October 7th. I feel a bit alone on an island of non-Jews who believe and speak out loud that we must stand with our Jewish friends, condemn the recent rise of anti-semitism and speak loudly about the evil of Hamas. And we must do this while also speaking up about how gutted we feel about the death of so many innocent Palestinians.

Because two things can be true- we can support our Jewish and our Palestinian friends at the same time.

Recently though, I have realized that this whole both/and thing is way harder for me to grasp in my personal life than it is in my political life.

My most recent example of this came up during my therapy session this week. I told my amazing therapist that our new empty nest is sad and that I feel guilty for being happy about having to do less grocery shopping, laundry and dishes. I think I actually said out loud ‘how can those things both be true?’

She gave me her wise side eye and it came to me because we have talked a lot about how things aren’t always black and white- there is often a sense of grey. Or, in other words, both/and. I can be sad and happy at the same stinking time.

Given that this concept really is hard… I thought it might be fun to strengthen our both/and muscles together by co-creating a both/and list.

Your both/ands can be deep or pretty simple.

I will start-

1. Trees, like the one above, can look like both summer and fall at the same time.

Your turn!

xo,

Stacey

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