Onward

I have been writing for myself. Scribbles in a bent and coffee stained Moleskin notebook. Semi-connected sentences in a Google doc. But nothing more. Nothing that I wanted to share with anyone other than myself. There has been so much negativity both nationally and locally over the past few months that my internal editor has kicked in big time. If I ever thought to click ‘publish’, I pulled back. I was unwilling to defend my words and thoughts if called upon to do so. Because that is how the world has felt hasn’t it? It’s felt like a place divided. Where all your words and actions must be defended. As if the ‘other side’ was always ready to jump. Ready to discredit. Ready to attack.

This week just felt raw. My feelings ranged from despair to joy. Consistent though was a feeling of determination. I am determined to be more brave. To speak my truth despite what might follow. And right now, my truth is that this election was different and the way we react to it may well be different too. I am not blocking Trump voters or refusing to speak to them but I remain confused and disappointed that there are people in my world who supported this president. And yes- people who supported his policies. When I say I dislike his character I mean more than the name calling and the mocking of people with disabilities. I mean more than the attack on our free press and the calls to violence. I mean I dislike his policies. Because his policies speak to his character. His policies encompass more than his financial policies. Perhaps his policies helped your bank account but his policies also were anti-people of color, anti-LGBTQ and anti-science. I can not get behind those policies no matter how much my bank account grows.

Over the past five years, I was polite. I preserved relationships. And I hope to be able to do the same moving forward because I hate confrontation a lot. But… this election taught me that my strategy wasn’t really so great. We have to speak the truth and we have to speak it loudly. Today, the work continues.